MOBY—If you could’ve been alive during any period in the last 5,000,000,000 years, which period would it be and why?
TERESA PALMER—Mythical or not, the Golden Age sounds pretty cruisey – “peace, happiness, prosperity…” But truly, I think to be a young woman in the cultural decade somewhere between 1963 and 1975 would have been really amazing. Just to be a part of the social revolution and significant political change, whilst dancing around like a wild hippie, would’ve been pretty special.
M—How many hours would you ideally like to sleep each night?
TP—Ear plugs in, eye mask on, and in a sleep cave for eight hours and 30 minutes, is my definition of happiness.
M—What’s the worst vegetable in the world?
TP—For the taste, steamed Brussels sprouts – although I’m a big fan of them all fried and blackened to within an inch of their life. I also think turnips could be the worst, just because the name alone is off-putting.
M—Would you rather be the Dalai Lama or a ranger in the Grand Canyon?
TP—Dalai Lama. His presence is deeply affecting. It would be such an incredible honor to know that your philosophy inspires people to delve within themselves to find true happiness, and to connect with each other on a greater level. To be him, even for just one hour, would be truly an enlightening experience.
M—What superhero power would you not want to have?
TP—Erm… The stretchy arms one? What even is that!? It’s not even all that beneficial; in fact it’s kinda silly. I think it’s the power they came up with when all the other cool powers like flying had already been done. It’s like the reject power.
M—Describe your perfect date.
TP—All day dates are my favorite. To be totally perfect it’d have to be warm during the day and rainy or stormy at night. We would start in the afternoon and go on a beautiful hike with my dogs, then have a picnic with yummy vegan food, then home to watch a movie or read a book together in front of the fire, all cuddled up and cozy with a crazy storm going on outside. We would eat some healthy homemade food, drink some red wine, and finish off with a vegan dessert, all the while deeply connecting over our love of spirituality, psychology, philosophy, and animals! Haha!
M—Would you rather spend your life smelling like boloney or eating boloney?
TP—Firstly, I had to Google what boloney was, secondly, now that I know what it is… Eww! Awful options! I guess, since the thought of eating it makes me want to hurl, smelling like it? I would certainly invest in the world’s most potent body creams, perfumes, loofahs, etc., and would just make diminishing dead animal smell from my body a morning ritual.
M—Would you rather be able to fly, or breathe and see underwater?
TP—My fear of great white sharks has hijacked this question. So, fly.
M—How will the world end?
TP—In a state of conflict.
M—If you were a rapper what would your name be?
TP—Tez McFarty Farto. Edgy, yet real.
M—If you were homeless what city would you live in?
TP—Adelaide, South Australia. It doesn’t get too cold, it’s very pretty, and the parks where I’d sleep are well manicured. There are also great homeless support groups there. I’d like to think that since it’s where I grew up and I know lots of people there, that some kind folk would take pity on me and lend me their couch.
M—If you adopted a non-domesticated animal what would it be (other than Russell Brand)?
TP—Hilarious. A wolf because they’re most like the women I know: majestic, instinctual, loyal, and wild in spirit. They would make a wonderful companion!
M—Why would someone spray-paint their name on their own school?
TP—Because they’re 15 and dating a bong-smoking, graffiti-busting gangster, I guess?
M—If you could be a vampire, would you be a vampire?
TP—Nope. I don’t care too much for the taste of blood. I’m also not hugely into killing people so I probably wouldn’t be so cut out for vampirism (as glamorous as it seems to be these days).
M—What three questions would you ask God?
TP—1) Can you please define who you are, what you are and where you are? 2) Does organized religion serve you best? 3) What are the biggest misconceptions people have of you?
M—Which is better: permission or forgiveness?
TP—Forgiveness. Learning to forgive yourself and others is a very important part of becoming an adult. It took me a long time to understand what it meant and how beneficial and healing the power of forgiveness really is.
M—What’s your perfect Halloween costume?
TP—I like creative, original, horrifying costumes but with a sexy edge. Like dressing up as a serial-killing, sexy sperm monster and jiggle dancing around girls.
M—Would you rather have an elephant sanctuary or a field full of monkeys?
TP—Oh an elephant sanctuary, for sure. I visited one in Kenya and I was floored by the beauty of these creatures. They all had really unique personalities and vibrant spirits. It’d be amazing to be around that daily.
M—Can you name all of the poisonous mammals?
TP—Surely not, but one I do know is the platypus, which is native to Australia. They are very rarely seen, but don’t cross them, for as cute as they look they have some nasty venom-covered, spur-like weapon attached to their hind leg. It isn’t lethal to humans but if you get stung with it, it’s excruciatingly painful and the venom rapidly begins to eat at your flesh. Thanks for ending on a high note, Moby!